We hear in the first reading today about keeping the Sabbath holy, and the 10 commandments. I recently spoke about working with
someone preparing for confession after a long time away. One of the things was not to take the 10 commandments in a limited way.
Well, I never killed anyone. Well, that is great!! But sometimes maybe we killed someone’s reputation by spreading rumors or lies about
them. I know I have been on the hurtful side of that one a time or two in my life. Part of the problem is once the words leave our lips, it
is too late, we said it. I remember hearing, and have shared again and again the beautiful prayer, “Lord make my words sweet and tender
today, for tomorrow I may need to eat them.”

I know more than a few that I have ministered to who were hurt or abused, not physically, but by words. Being told they were “useless”
or “would never amount to anything.” Maybe you yourself have heard some of those phrases. These can be very hurtful and hold people
back from their full potential. Sometimes many of us do not understand anything beyond our own experience. If we grow up with
someone who talked negatively to us, we likely started to believe that, and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you grow up with par-
ents who encouraged you and gave you positive reinforcements, you may struggle in understanding what the other’s experience is. In
my own personal experience, I can see both. I can remember in my childhood having negative expectations put on me. Without going
into a personal therapy session about my childhood, I can say I lived some of that. However, I can also see those in my life who tried,
some better than others, to show me the good in myself. I think each of us may have experienced at least some of both sides, but what
side has had a greater impact on us? I clearly remember trying something new and hearing inside my head, “You can’t!” This is a voice
that has long been in my head. But at that moment as I pushed through it and was able to say, “But I AM!” This was a real turning point
for me.

If you listen to or hear more of that negative voice, see if you too can find that person who can help you find a positive voice in your life.
If you see that you are a negative voice in someone else’s life, I would challenge you to try and change that, and soon. It can make all the
difference in someone’s life. I remember hearing a story of Albert Einstein’s mother. He was sent home from school with a note to his
mother saying, (his mother told him the note said) “that he was so smart that the teachers could not teach him anything more.” It was
only years later, after his mother’s death, that he found the note and read it for himself. It really said, “…he would never amount to any-
thing and can not be taught; that she should keep him out of school.” One positive voice of a mother kept this genius from believing he
was stupid and allowed him to share his gifts with the world. I wonder if the writer of that note ever lived to know of their mistake??

The Ten Commandments are not meant to be a restricted thing, something that prevents us from enjoying life. They are meant to be a
protective thing. Every loving parent will tell the child, “Do NOT touch the hot stove!” They are not trying to restrict the child from
having the fun of touching the hot stove. They know it will hurt the child and do not want to see the child hurt or in pain. God does not
want to see us hurt or in pain; God knows that these things can lead to us being hurt; the “Thou shall nots.” We sometimes only see the
immediate pleasures we perceive we will receive and not what can follow or who can be hurt by our actions. Spend some time reflecting
on the Ten Commandments and see them in a much broader way.

Lent can be a great time to look at making positive changes in our lives.

Blessings,
Fr. Backer